Flashback: Jonathan Toews and Patrick Kane star in world's most awkward commercial

Chicago Blackhawks forwards Jonathan Toews and Patrick Kane will almost certainly have their jersey numbers retired by their club when their playing careers come to an end, as they helped as much as anyone to raise the franchise from the dead while bringing the Stanley Cup back to the Windy City three different times (2010, 2013, 2015). 

Of course, that doesn't mean that everything that was done off the ice was perfect. Let's throw it back to when the pair starred in a commercial for  Dell Streak, a smart-phone "tablet"...and the results were nothing short of spectacularly awkward. 

Take a look at how Yahoo described it: 

"Jonathan Toews is eating at a café and notices a lovely brunette at an accompanying table. Our narrator refers to him as a "Stanley Cup MVP," because of the majority of Americans have heard of the Cup but think being a "Conn Smythe winner" is an honor you receive for having a low home electricity bill.

Toews raises a creepy eyebrow and takes a photo with his Dell Streak phone of the brunette's hand, and our narrator tells us through an incredible Midwest accent that he sends the image to "Paaaa-yaht."

Patrick Kane is seated near a bar (yeah, we know) and receives Toews' message. He fires up his own Dell Streak and we see where Tazer ranks among his contacts. Which is to say he apparently has the honor of being the only male in Kane's address book.

He reaches out to Toews via video conference: "No ring? Hot. What's the play?" And we all celebrate Patrick Kane's respect for the sanctity of marriage.

Toews wants to use the pick-up line app to find the right come-on, and offers up "Are you OK, because it's a long fall from heaven?"

Kane tells him to simply introduce himself, because he's a millionaire with a lake named after him. (OK, he doesn't actually say that.) Kane then says "he'll handle it" from there, and we prepare for some Cyrano de Bergerac hijinks that never happen.

As Toews goes to close the deal, Kane suddenly develops his own plot line, charming two women in a blizzard of awkward lines and weird hockey double entendres from our narrator. Kane manages to attract the two lovely ladies by showing them highlights of Jonathan Toews. Well that speaks volumes ..."